4th November 1819

7 3/4

11 1/2

Did not get to sleep last night till near 2 – Disturbed with thoughts of one thing or other – Before breakfast, & afterwards till 3 1/2, finished page 3 and the ends, (crossed every single side of my letter) to M- & copied the whole – Then wrote 3.pp and the ends of a sheet to Miss M- to go tomorrow – Thinking it too long to thank her, I know not when – That’s when my letter to Mr. & Mrs. D- goes Mr. Stancliffe (the barbour) took my letter to M- (Lawton) this afternoon – In the afternoon at 3 3/4, Major Fawcett came, & 1/4 hour afterwards Mr. Wiglesworth to dine at 4. – The latter the very stupidest companion I ever saw – They went at 8 3/4 – Damp, rainy morning, fine about 12 & in the afternoon & later in the evening – Barometer 1/2 degree below changeable. Fahrenheit 44 1/2 at 9pm

2nd November 1819

7 10/60

11 1/4

Before breakfast and afterwards to 2 1/2, wrote out from page 15 to 23, 1/2 of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. Duffin – In the afternoon at 3 20/60, my uncle & aunt & I set off to High Royd’s farm to look at my fathers new barn – Finished; but the yard to have & a little wall[g] etc… to do – returned along the Bradford road; & parted at the North Bridge – There I went up to North Parade, Savile Road Lane etc… round Westfield, & down Callista Lane to North Gate – Stayed there 20 minutes & got home 5 minutes before 6 – In the evening, wrote out page 20 of my own copy of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. D- Very fine day – Fine sunny morning. Barometer 2 degrees below changeable. Fahrenheit 40 degrees at 9pm –

1st November 1819

7 1/4

11 3/4

Got up at 6 10/60, but fire not burning. Went to bed again till 7 1/2 – Before breakfast, & afterwards till 2 1/2, wrote out from page 17 1/2 to page 20 of my own copy of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. Duffin – In the afternoon at 3 40/60, my aunt & I set off to Halifax; met Mr. [Wiglesworth?] about 1/2 way in the North Bank coming here – Up North Parade, Savile Row Lane, Royston road, past Westfield, & down Callista Lane to NorthGate – Sat about 1/4 hout with my aunt Lister [&] Major Fawcett, & got home about 5 1/4 – Mr. W- stayed to tea with us & till 8 1/2 – Fine morning, a few drops of rain between 3 & 4pm and 2 & 3 drops afterwards, but otherwise, a fine afternoon & evening. Barometer 1 degree below changeable. Fahrenheit 40 degrees at 9pm – for 20 minutes & during super played the flute –

31st October 1819

Sunday 31^st

8 ¾

11 50/60

All went to morning church. Mr. Knight preached [for] 32 mins (a good disc.) the concluding part of his last subject from Psalm 119.V.96 “I have seen all things come to an end, but thy commandment is exceedingly broad” – In the afternoon, my aunt & I read prayers. Stayed talking till 5 10/60 – Declined telling them the particulars about Charles Lawton’s conduct. My uncle went out for a few minutes, & my aunt said my Uncle & she had mentioned my asking Miss Browne to dinner. My Uncle was very glad to have me here, & I preferred being here to being with my father, but, if I was here I must (of course) conform to my uncle, who did not like to have an acquaintance brought on with the Browne’s, nor like me to have Miss Browne; whom I might not notice if she married anyone in the town (or at any rate might lay aside like the Greenwoods). She thought he would have no objection to my bringing her to tea sometimes. You think (said she) it rests with me, but indeed it does not. I always do what I think my Uncle would like. I said all this I knew very well. She had seen more of the world than my Uncle but that I always wished to conform to him that I did not bare at all about having Miss Browne, & did not think much about it when I mentioned it. I think I shall not bring Miss Browne in a hurry & have some thought of coming to some explanation with her hinting the obstacles, but asking about her regard for me & appealing to her, if she can possibly doubt mine. I can form no connection till I am independent nor, even much indulge my fancy for Miss Browne. I ought to rouse myself to every exertion to see If I cannot do something for myself. I must not dream of anything like love, or think but, to improve & how to spend my time most pleasantly in stdy. No gentle voice to cheer me, no kind, no fond congeniality of charm. One listless hour. Tis’ dull. Tis’ life. On blessing & unblest {sic}, but still it must be so my heart must bear it & submit. Oh’ never hart longed more for the later to break, than I for some amiable girl to love, & by whom be loved.

(5 ¾ pm) it has just struck me that I will some time write some verses on a life. Unblessing & unblest – My aunt says I should do better to live alone than either she or my uncle. I have more resources, true, but my heart could ill endure that solitude that shut it out. From love that dearest see theron our troubles here – In the evening, read allowed sermon 14 (the last) of Volume.1.Horsley, and sermon 3 [Saudford] – Fair tolerably fine day, rather coldish & raw – Barometer 1 degree above changeable. Fahrenheit 40 degrees at 9pm. The church heated today, the first time this season – I am not very fond of this heating by steam – The hot damp air makes one liable to sit cold on going out – Came upstairs at 11 ¼

30th Oct 1819

Saturday 30^th

7 5/60

11 ¼

Letter

Before breakfast, wrote out page 16 and ½ page 17 of my own copy of the letter – Letter from Mariana Lawton giving an account of their meeting with the person[al] ambassador at Birmingham, etc. – M[ariana] will accompany her mother & sister as far as Manchester on their return, & wishes me to meet them there [so] that she may get a sight of me – If Charles be not with them, this is very well, but, I am too forlorn in spirit & in wardrobe; besides my uncle & aunt would think it foolish. They would think of the money it would cost, & they would not approve. I would do many things if I could, but at present I must be as careful as I can, & study only to improve myself in the hope of a possibility of making something by writing. I know not how it is I feel low. My eyes filled with tears as I read Mariana’s letter – Indeed I am generally low on hearing from her. There seems no real (or atleast) to me) satisfactory sympathy between us. We seem to have no mutual affairs, & little mutual confidence in that the person with whom I must hope to spend the evening of my days. I am very low. The tears gush as I write, thank God I generally feel relief from thus unburdening my mind on paper – I am to meet Miss Browne this afternoon I like the girl; she amuses many an idle thought & [I] want someone to interest me, she is the only one the town or neighbourhood affords that can do this at all, but unfortunately her rank in life put it out of my power to have her here. I asked my uncle this morning if I might bring her to dinner tomorrow; his answer was no. He did not want to be connected with the Brownes or have anything to do with them. O’ how my heart longs after a companion, & how I often wish for an establishment of my own, but I may then be too old to attach anyone, & my life shall have passes in that dreary solitude. So, I’ll endure – Major Fawcett called at 11 50/60 & stayed an hour – gentlemanly and pleasant – Loitered downstairs near ½ hour & then wrote out pp. 13, & 14, of my letter to Mr. & Mrs.Duffin – Major F. mentioned a Miss Jones of Bath, a very clever, pleasant woman, who regularly took a tour somewhere & had been over the continent by herself – She did not mind at all – Had not a man servant, nor did I understand [the] woman either – The last time she went, she took a young lady with her – In the afternoon 3 10/60, down the old bank to the library – Miss Maria Browne – there & a young lady with her – Evidently came to tell me Miss Browne was too unwell to stir out – She had caught a cold at a party at Mr. Rawson’s on Thursday, & was very poorly yesterday, but better today – They went away immediately & I only stayed a few minutes – Doubtless Miss Browne’s cousin came. This was a disappointment to me, & I felt low & if time hung he [be] a very thoughtful moment of calling of her, but this would not do. {I was] determined not to get home very much before teatime, & walked on listlessly my usual way to king cross & thence to Willowfield. Musing on my loneliness of heart, it struck me I would make more in queries about Miss Jones. Perhaps she would just suit me & we might go abroad to France together. It occurred to me to write to her anomalously at first to try [to see] if I could make anything of it, Oh that I could find someone to love – From the library my usual way to King X, thence to Willowfield or rather the brick drying house beyond – Returned down north Parade, & got home at 5 10/60 – Talked & dawdled away the evening –  Speaking of [pi-Mariana]s wishing me to go to Manchester [I] told them when they said I had better go to Lawton, that I never intended going there again – said [Charles Lawton] & I had quarreled & should not speak if we met, said it was about a letter he had written me. On seeing a passage in one of my letters to pi[Mariana]. Hinting that it would be a mercy if it pleased God to take him – Said he had this & another letter of mine still in his possession but left them to guess how he had got them – I did not care for having written this passage, for I thought what I wrote & he knew I had good reason for thinking so but that I made a point of never repeating what passed in families, said Thornley had got to know all from Mrs Smith & Tib from Thornley – That her last letter was on this subject I had bid her shot believe all she heard & always took [Charles’s?] part as much as I could tho I confessed I should not grieve much at his death – my aunt said several things had struck her as odd but she could not suppose [Charles Lawton] would offer any one in his own house & she concluded I did not go too Lawton on account of the expense – Very windy day – 2 or 3 slight showers in the evening. Morning, wind high to night – Barometer ½ degree below changeable, Fahrenheit 39 at 9pm

17th July 1833 Letter from Mariana to Anne

Dearest Fred,

I am afraid of the John Lawton’s arriving and thereby preventing the dew lines you ask for. That without doing more than swallowing my breakfast, I sit down to tell you how much obliged I am for your letter this morning, I hardly expected it, & therefore it was doubly welcome. I fear, indeed, you must be a little dole, but this I trust will quickly pap away, if not likely to do so, you have still within your reach, the means of providing for yourself, (for the winter at least) the enjoyments of friendship & converse and I would not throw them lightly away, do anything that will crown your winter with roses – If your friends decidedly receptive any of your plans, they ought, I think, to find you better ones, If Mrs. Bob D- won’t do, let them suk some one who will, for it seems they don’t recommend Lady G- tho’ they would not object to her – I shall try to find out whether the widow would have gone had the plan be proposed. Your uncertainty may well surprise your friends who probably have never seen anything in you but that quickness & promptitude, which is so often not within genius – You ought not to wonder that others are not like you, the weaknesses of human nature are much more predominant that sense and genius, to judge other by yourself is not fair to either – I have no doubt but that you will decide well at last, at all of lates consider what is best for your own comfort, surely you have no friends who will quarrel with your doing this – You say you can make anything answer, & Heaven I trust will prosper your ability to do so – I shall be most anxious to hear your determination

[three lines missing]

they must be sent from Sheffield – However, as you seem bent upon having one U will own the risqué of sending you mine, & I will send for one myself – The thimble I cannot send as Mrs. Chaloner has had it engraved with my name, & it is very disagreeable to use – You must therefore get one that fits the case – I am better today than I expected to be, tho’ I had little sleep. My horse, still the grey, won’t do it for me, he starts at coaches & James thinks must have sometime or other been hurt by one as he everyday fly thro’ the hedge rather than meet one – I will take are of myself & be as happy as I can at this moment I am not dole for I feel to have plenty to do – I have seen more of the household but I hear comfortable accounts of all – I found a letter from home & one from W.B – The former says partly is better, the letter begs a few lines on my return and was to some question about Miss [?] I shall be heartily glad when the next fortnight is over, I dread the Lawton’s

[5 Lines Missing]

I am sick at heart, & so would you if you had such a prospect before you – Martha[?] is all sunbeam, she likes her place & every body like her. If the “Ladies companions” does not arrive in time you send it back, & I will send you one by Lady Gordon if you send for her distinction – God bless you, believe me always truly, & affectionately yours

Mariana

You will find a letter in Paris

---

This is from a letter I found at the archives. I personally think it’s really nice to see that Mariana still thinks so highly of Anne and I think its a pretty sweet letter. It looked as though it had been ripped up, whether this was Anne, Mariana, Ann or just an accident is a mystery.

29th October 1819

7 1/2

12

Letters

Before breakfast, & afterwards till 1 1/4, wrote 3pp. & the ends of a letter to Steph – & then till 4, wrote p15 of my copy of the letter to Mr. & Mrs. D – copied my letter to stev [sic] immediately after writing it – In the afternoon at 4 35/60, down the North Bank & up North Parade to the post office. Put in my letter to H. S. Belcombe (Newcastle Stafford-shire) returned the same way, & got home 5 20/60 – In spite of the rainy morning, Mrs. Abbott came & dined here – I did not see her till my return from Halifax – She talked & was very amusing, & stayed till a good while after 8 – Fair in the afternoon – A little more rain in the evening, but fair when Mrs. A- went – Barometer 1 1/2 degree below changeable, Fahrenheit 36 degrees at 9pm – Upstairs at 11 1/4

October 28th 1819

7 25/60

11 25/60

Letter

Visit/Calls

Before breakfast, wrote out 1/2 of p.14 of my own copy of the letter, & altered the rough draft of the concluding part about the Jardin des plantes – Letter from Dr. H.S. Belcombe (Newcastle under-lyne), announcing the recent delivery of his wife of a 2d. boy, both the mother & child doing well – Miss Walker of Crow-Nest called at 12 1/2. & stayed 1/2 hour – a nice, good humoured girl – Spent the rest of the morning in dawdling, & siding my things after Betty’s cleaning – In the afternoon, at 4 20/60, down the NorthBank, & up the North Parade, Savile Row Lane, & Royston road to King X – returned the same way (except coming thro’ the town) & got home at 5 3/4 – Major Fawcett arrived last night, & my uncle called on, (& saw him) this morning at the North gate – In the evening, finished p.15 of my own copy & wrote a little of a rough draft of a letter to Steph – Very fine day – Barometer, 1 degree below changeable, Fahrenheit 36 degrees at 9pm

October 27th 1819

7 20/60

11 3/4

Before breakfast, wrote all but the 1st 7 lines of page 12, & 5 lines of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. D – Betty is cleaning my room today which sent me into the Kitchen-chamber & hindered me a little – From 12 to 2 1/2 writing the rough draft of a paragraph about the Bibliotheque du Voi, [exp] and altering what i had written about the Jardin des Plantes – In the afternoon at 4 1/2 down the North Bank & up King X lane (in 25 minutes) to Westfield – Miss B-, her sister & cousin in from Cowper House, were all sitting together – Mr. Sharpe B- soon came in & then followed the mother. Talked a good deal in as humorous a style as possible to keep up a proper dignity – It occurred to me , when Mr. B- mentioned travelling in France that he might have seen out riding companion Mr. John Bell in Glasgow – Stayed 25 minute, Mrs. B very civil – A very talkative sort of personage – Said it was church night, & would be happy if i would stay to tea, & go to the lecture – Refused civilly having no intention of taking a meal in the house – Miss B- returned last Monday week – Had caught cold in the journey & was suffering from tootheache [sic] – She had washed for all the afternoon, so had her sister, till her neck was stiff. In spite of tootheache, Miss Browne came with me to the front gate. She certainly like me. Agreed to meet me in passing at half past three on Saturday, said Mrs. & Miss Abbot were to dine here on Friday. Asked her if she would accompany them, but she had been so much engaged since her return, she could not. Nothing more settled about Mr. Kelly – Got home a few minutes before 6 – In the evening, wrote out pp 12, & 13, of my own copy of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. D – Very fine day – Soft & the flags wet when I got up this morning – Fine moonlight walking home – Barometer at changeable, Fahrenheit 40 [degrees] at 9pm – asked Miss Browne if she had got my letter at nazepoint, “no I had not written one. Yes, I had written one but not sent it.” This said at the gate, Mrs. Crowther came, Mrs. Browne introduced her, I wished her good night, & she said sir in reply –

October 26th 1819

1/4

11 20/60

Before breakfast, and afterwards till 2, wrote only pp.10, & 11, and 7 lines of page 12 of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. D – Making some alterations made me write out so little – In the afternoon at 3 40/60, down the old bank – to the library stayed only a minute or two, & there to King X I had thought of calling on Miss Browne but not being quite certain of her return looked & walked on fancied as I saw some one & as I came back saw a white figure at the window  It wanted twenty minutes to five hesitated whether to call but decided to ask Mrs. Walker house if she had seen her at the new church on Sunday afternoon – In returning, when I had got to the bottom of Royston Road, turned up Callista lane, I went past Bull-close to well-head – The Waterhouses going to have a large tea-party (28 people) sat 1/4 hour with Mrs. W – I got home at 5 1/2 – Miss Browne come back. I fear she is poorly & shall call tomorrow if it be fine – In the evening wrote out from page 9 1/2 to page 12 of my own copy of my letter to Mr. & Mrs. D- Very fine cold day – Barometer 1 1/2 degree below changeable, Fahrenheit, 37 [degree] at 9pm